Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
