was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
