Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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