So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
