found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
