so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
