Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I need a beard to bite.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
