I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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