If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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