So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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