That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
