Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
