Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
