Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
