Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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