They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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