Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
