She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
