They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
