I'm really into asian looking animals
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
