If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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