If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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