I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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