No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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