She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
