Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
