Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
