Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
