My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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