i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
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