Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
