I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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