At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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