Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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