Ketchup is God's man juice
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
