at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My penis needs a shock collar
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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