Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize