ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
wat bout pragnant strippers??
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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