I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
