I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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