He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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