Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
