I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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