im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
