do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
