what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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