Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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