bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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