Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
