maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
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i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize