i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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