i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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