just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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