I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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