i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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