Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
