I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
