What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
