What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
